Alone

It was the quiet i vowed to never acknowledge.
i promised to stand up straight, and always look polished.

But i wasn’t happy, and nights were sleepless
Stories of pain, my deepest secrets.
i did my best to keep em secrets.
i smiled and denied any weakness.

It was the quiet i vowed to never acknowledge.
i promised to stand up straight, and always look polished.

My paint started to chip.
i panicked, i started to trip.
My soul slipped, i lost my grip.

It was the quiet, i was forced to acknowledge.
i couldn’t stand up straight.
i wasn’t polished.

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Silence

#powerful

Poems in a Coffer

How naive I was
to not know
that every silence
could convey
a distinct meaning
until I met you
and fathomed
the many implicit
connotations of silence

From the innocent silence
when we were too shy
to even speak to each other
to the genial silence
as we watched
sunsets together
hand in hand

From the enticing silence
when our eyes
began to do
all the talking
(often disrupted by
intermittent kisses)
to the satiating silence
which enveloped us
after we lay in bed exhausted
making love whole night

From the apparent silence
when you knew
there were questions
I would never ask
to the obvious silence
when I knew
there were answers
you would never reveal

From the explicit silence
which was mere
absence of sound
to the intricate silence
indicating the absence of
love, trust and admiration

I traversed
through it all
and here I am now
waiting…

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3 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Every relationship requires maintenance. Even the healthiest relationship requires maintenance. Image result for toxic relationshipsThe maintenance a toxic relationship requires, is triple that of a healthy relationship. Signs of a toxic relationship aren’t always easily noticed. Outside of the direct infidelity and physical abuse, there are other low key signs of a toxic relationship. Continue reading 3 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Here

I’m here.
I mean I’m still here.
Eyes open lol
and it still ain’t clear

Court of law, I stood and watched my future dangle.
I’d just graduated, emotions were tangled.
They said I wasn’t stable.

I went to war wit God behind me, my lawyer beside me.
That judge had options
but she chose to fine me.
She saw how pain confined me.
Wrong or right, I had to find me.
Hard lessons,
it was all about the timing.

It was all so worth it.
I mean all so perfect
I needed those practices,
they all had a purpose.

I was broken but never heartless.
I almost gave up,
But I pushed the through the darkness.

Broke barriers, then I broke free.
Where I am, is where I’m required to be.
Unpredictable, hopeless romantic,
But this is me.

I take pride in the help I provide.
I stay lookin inside.
I speak life,
I keep people alive.

I’m here.
I mean I’m still here.
Eyes open lol
and it still ain’t clear

Deeper Than Six FT

 

I thought the words would provide some assistance.
I thought the admission would make a difference.
I get it, I get it.
She on drugs, and she inconsistent.
I had a childhood, and she missed it.

I went through the stages already.
I was sad, I was angry, I was petty.
I needed to let go, but I was never ready.
But this right here—
This is heavy.

Through it all, I kept the fire burnin’—
I had hope.
I stayed yearnin.
I wanted to understand her, so I kept learnin.
No matter what—
Her love and affection, I couldn’t earn it.

I couldn’t tell her how precious she was; and to life she was a gift.
I couldn’t teach her how to love, live, and not just exist.
She was MY momma, I couldn’t provide that lift.

 

Mother daughter

 

I know you love me.
But you’re loyal to the streets.
No cancer, but there’s a link.
Mama I heard, and I let it sink.
I couldn’t cry.
I never blinked.

Charge it to logic, and not my heart.
I’m your child, and I did my part.
I was bitter, then I forgave.
Mama, I turned the page.
Mama, there was no rage.
Forgave your selfish ways.
Only to turn around, and watch you run the same plays.

I ain’t mad, I’m tender.
Those good days,
I gotta remember.
Both born in December.
Who I got to know.
I’ll always defend her.
Father God.
Please forgive her.

 

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