Picture this.

Women are emotionally absent, and the men are abusive.

No love
no hugs.
But words are intrusive.

Guns and knives to avoid a loss.
Screaming and breaking shit, got the point across.

You got a problem?
This is how you solve it.
Break her neck!

then tell her she caused it.

Picture this.

5 years old, being Touched and fucked.
Stripped down and forced to suck.

But that’s family right?
Over and over and lips stayed tight.
Going through life, nursing a bite.

I’m here I’m here
Flick the light.

I had a fucked up childhood in addition to rape.
What kinda choices was I supposed to make?
How many losses was I supposed to take?
How long before I’m supposed to break?

That was a question.




  1. Very clear words with fierce artwork!
    How long before you’re supposed to break? We do break but now is the piecing back together.

  2. PS. BPD , Borderline Personality Disorder is not in your DNA, it is a reaction to long term, severe, early childhood abuse and neglect. Nothing in your DNA said you are supposed to be abused. Everything in your DNA says you are human and should have been cared for.

    Then again DNA could stand for Drugs N-word and Anger. Even if it stood for that, your environment as a child wouldn’t be your fault still and those behaviors ceased in adult life are no longer your burden to fully carry.

    With much respect,

    1. You are absolutely 100 percent correct … DNA was my way of saying my family dynamic was messed up. But I love what you came up with … because it def means that too. Drugs N**** and anger

      1. lol. After I wrote that I thought, you know, maybe you shouldn’t say that but that truly was the theme of your poem. I could feel the anger and the hopelessness of that child thrown in a world of absolute moral decay that included drugs, hostility and vicious attacks. Where was the humanity? Where was the way out? That’s what I read and felt. It is unthinkable for many but a reality for you and that came across loud and clear in your writing.


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